How to feel [less] overwhelm as a SAHM
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I have been a stay at home mom for 3 years now and I just now got it together and somewhat organized (sweating emoji) It has been all that I could have ever wished for to stay at home with my kids, while also a little chaotic, a lot of crazy and a jumbled mess. It honestly took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that I/we needed more structure and organization. While I am learning from and trying to correct my mistakes with this, why don’t I just show you how to avoid them in the first place?
pray
When you sit down to think about all that must get done in one day, it is hard to think that you need to add in some time to talk to God. How can you possibly carve out 15-30 minutes before the day starts to pray or read your Bible? But, we MUST make time for God and prioritize Him in our life. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not great at this, this is a new item in my daily routine, but without a shadow of a doubt, adding in some time with God every morning has helped me more than I ever imagined. I highly recommend reading M is for Mama by Abbie Halberstadt, who can teach this far better than I can.
Declutter
The act of decluttering is exactly as it seems, to get rid of clutter. Initially I am sure you could come up with 1 or 2 or maybe 10 spots in your home that is a little more cluttered than you would like, but once you get going you could probably find quite a few things to declutter. This can include your photos on your phone, your emails, your socks, your nail polish, etc. Clutter creeps in like your husband after your 6 week postpartum checkup. And once it creeps in, it starts to take over. You begin to feel overwhelmed, anxious, exhausted and overstimulated. By decluttering your home, you can create a more peaceful and organized environment. This can help you feel more in control and reduce your stress levels. Start by going through your belongings and getting rid of anything you no longer need or use. This can include clothes, toys, books, and other items that are taking up space.
Once you've decluttered your home, it's important to maintain it. This means regularly going through your belongings and getting rid of anything that no longer serves you. It also means being mindful of what you bring into your home in the future. One question I can ask myself when I am out shopping and considering buying a new item, is “do I have the capacity to take care of it?” This means do I have the time to keep up with maintenance of this item? Where will I put this item when I get it home? Do I have a similar item? Once you go through this thought process you might consider waiting to buy it. If you wait 30 days and still find a need for it, maybe that’s your sign to go back and get it. Unfortunately we live in a world of instant gratification, so we see something, we like it, we buy it and then we end up allowing it to clutter up our house. Or we donate it soon after we get it home and have realized we didn’t actually need it, but now we’ve missed the return deadline. By being intentional about what you allow into your space, you can prevent clutter from building up again and help save some of your sanity. And I know we all need a little help with that.
Cleaning Schedule
Implementing a cleaning schedule. This has been a life saver for me. Every day I was cleaning, but it would be in random places throughout the house. Whatever needed my attention the most, the laundry, dishes, spills, etc. Then the day would be over and I knew I had done so much cleaning, yet you couldn’t tell I had done anything at all. This is when I decided to download a cleaning schedule that listed everything I needed to get done, but it was broken up into different areas of the house and daily tasks that needed to be completed. After using a pre-made cleaning schedule, I decided to create my own (which you can customize here) and tailored it to our needs. Now, I’m not saying I stick to this schedule every single day, but I do follow it and see amazing results. Not to mention, it also helps with sharing household duties. My husband can come home and easily take a look at the schedule, see what I’ve marked off and see what’s left to do. He doesn’t have to ask me how he can help, he can simply just do what’s left. On top of having the cleaning schedule, I also created a daily chore chart for my oldest daughter. I have taken some tasks from my daily items and broken them up into things that she can easily do. She loves helping around the house and often tells me I need to sit down, because I’m “working too hard.” 😢
Schedule/Rhythm
Staying at home means you have more freedom. More freedom in what you do with your time each and every day. And having more freedom is amazing, yet why does it feel even more overwhelming? One major reason could simply be that we are lacking structure or a rhythm to our day. Like most, our day is planned around our kiddos. When will they be hungry? When will they need a nap? What time would they do best for an outing? Then you have to add in all the things that you need/want to get done for the day and suddenly going back to a 9-5 sounds somewhat appealing? Stopping to take a second and think about these things ahead of time and writing them down into a schedule can be tremendously helpful. BUT, you have to remember that your day might not go exactly as planned. Kids teach us to be prepared for the unexpected, to learn how to adapt and pivot.
So, take a second and write out your ideal day. What time would you wake up? Your kids? Breakfast? Every. Single. Thing. Then focus less on what times things are happening (unless it’s a set-in-stone appointment) and use that as a way to guide your day. It’s not going to be perfect, but it will 100% decrease your stress associated with staying home and trying to figure out how the whole day passed, you didn’t get a chance to sit down and you have nothing to show for it. This will help. This will ease the overwhelm. Here is a look at our daily schedule. I certainly don’t follow this to a T, but it is a rough outline to help keep me on track throughout the day.
Exercise
Womp, womp, womp. The one absolutely no one wants to read, talk about or put into action. But, it’s also the one that will help you lower your stress levels tremendously. That’s right. Did you know that exercise actually helps your brain think more clearly (goodbye, mom brain) and reduces stress levels? I vaguely knew about this connection when I was in my early 20s, then I stumbled upon a book titled, Spark by Dr. John Ratey, who goes in-depth with the relationship between exercise and stress/anxiety/depression.
Ratey discusses how physical activity can have a profound impact on various aspects of our well-being. He emphasizes that exercise is not just beneficial for physical health but also plays a crucial role in improving mood, reducing stress, enhancing focus, and boosting overall brain function.
Ratey highlights that exercise promotes the release of chemicals such as dopamine and endorphins, which are known to elevate mood and reduce feelings of anxiety and depression. Additionally, he explains how regular physical activity can lead to the growth of new brain cells and connections, particularly in areas associated with learning and memory. By incorporating exercise into our daily routine, Ratey suggests that we can experience improved cognitive performance, better emotional resilience, and a reduced risk of mental health disorders. Overall, Dr. John Ratey's work underscores the importance of staying active for both our physical and mental well-being.
Okay, that’s great and all. We know exercise is beneficial for us, we know we need to do it, but how? We are stay-at-home-moms after all, so we more than likely don’t have any childcare, have a child attached to us at least 20 hours a day, aren’t getting good sleep, and where are we supposed to find the energy to even try to move our bodies? I’ve tried going to a brick and mortar gym, I’ve tried going to a mommy and me/ stroller fitness class, I’ve tried it all. But, it wasn’t until I bought a membership for virtual gym that I finally stuck with it. I’m talking working out every single day. That hasn’t happened since....E V E R 😂 Before I started exercising regularly I was a caffeine addict. Like, only survived on coffee for the entirety of the day, then would chug some water when I realized I hadn’t had any. But, now that I have been exercising I truly have more energy and a clearer mind. My sleep hasn’t improved, I still have a child attached to me most of the day, I’m still doing all the things, but this exercise thing.. it’s really pushed me and I am so grateful for that. As fas as finding time to do it, I do it with my kids. They are right there beside me. They see me taking care of my body, they see me trying even when it gets difficult and they are right there trying to do every move I do.
Eat
Okay, I thought this was common sense, but it seems like moms just aren’t eating enough or when they are eating it’s junk. We HAVE to nourish our bodies. We have to. We have to. We have to. And, I’m guilty of this, too. I would eat something quick for breakfast, whatever wasn’t eaten at lunch and a fairly nutritious dinner. I definitely wasn’t getting enough protein though and protein is SO important for us. I now aim to get 90g-100g of protein a day, minimum. This can seem like a lot and be overwhelming, but it is necessary to our survival. Consuming 90g-100g of protein a day can offer numerous benefits for overall health and well-being. Protein is essential for building and repairing tissues in the body, including muscles, skin, and organs. It also plays a crucial role in the production of enzymes, hormones, and other important molecules, which is so needed as a mom. Especially if you are a new mom and breastfeeding. Protein is vital for supporting a strong immune system, as antibodies are made up of proteins that help fight off infections and illnesses. Overall, ensuring you consume 90g-100g of protein a day can contribute to better health outcomes and improved body function. You’ll also want to avoid sugar, especially processed and artificial sugars. Sugar can increase anxiety and depression symptoms and absolutely deplete your energy. And if you need help coming up with meal ideas, I’ve got you. Head over to my store and get some meal plans and recipes, so you have one less thing to worry about.
Get off social media
This one can be so difficult, I mean they do make it addicting after all. Being on social media brings comparisons and wanting more unnecessary items. It takes over our attention, making us less present with the ones we love the most. It’s a great escape, but one that comes with baggage. It causes more anxiety, depression and feelings of inadequacy. It does not lift us up, but only tears us down. While social media can have some great information or keep us connected to friends and family, it definitely shouldn’t be our priority. I challenge you to get off social media. Maybe just for 24 hours, maybe a little less every day, maybe you decide you are completely done. Whatever that looks like for you, just try to reduce your time online and see how much better you feel.
Being a stay-at-home-mom can be a learning curve. You can often feel like you aren’t accomplishing anything and are drowning in laundry. Take a moment to remember why you chose to stay at home, how it will benefit your children and your family overall. Feel gratitude for the ability to stay at home and take care of your children and your home. It is a great gift and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Start practicing these new routines and you will start to feel like you’re getting the hang of it. Please feel free to reach out below if you want to chat about your current situation as a SAHM and you need help adjusting.
