5 Ways to Become a Stay-At-Home Mom

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Let me guess, you just had a baby or are about to go on maternity leave and you cannot begin to fathom returning to work. Maybe you’re up in the middle of the night, not able to sleep, Googling how you can possible stay at home. The thought of sleepless nights, leaking nipples, pumping in a mildewy smelling, old locker room (yes, I actually had to pump in one 🙄) and the possibility of becoming emotional throughout the day as you begin to think about your tiny little baby being in the care of someone other than you make that seem unbelievably unbearable. Yet, you’re not sure you could handle being at home, all day long, covered in spit up, snot, changing diapers, and trying to stay afloat. You know being a stay-at-home mom would be the hardest thing you’ve ever done, but it just seems right. It’s what you want. It’s what you and your baby need. Then you are in the right spot. Let’s figure out how we can get you to become the stay-at-home mom of your dreams, while also being financially responsible.

Three months after having our first child, I was dreading the return to work. I wanted nothing more than to quit my job and be with her day in and day out. Unfortunately, that wasn’t an option as I was in grad school to become a School Counselor and needed to get hours at the local elementary school where I worked. After much praying, job changes, and moving I was finally able to become a stay-at-home mom after our second daughter was born and I haven’t looked back since. There are various reasons why someone might choose to become a stay-at-home mom. One common reason is the desire to be more involved in their children's upbringing and to be present for important milestones and moments in their children's lives. By staying at home, moms can provide emotional support, guidance, and care for their children on a daily basis.

Additionally, some moms may prefer to prioritize their family's needs over their career at certain stages of life. Initially, I did have the thought of what might happen if/when I tried to re-enter the workforce. Would I be overlooked, outdated, and undesirable? It didn’t take long for me to realize that I didn’t care. It was more important to me that I was at home with my kids and the rest I would figure out later. Being a stay-at-home mom allows you to focus on creating a nurturing and stable home environment for your family. It can also provide flexibility in managing household responsibilities and schedules, which can be particularly beneficial for families with young children.

Furthermore, some moms may find fulfillment and joy in the role of a stay-at-home mom, finding purpose and satisfaction in caring for their children and managing the household. To be completely transparent, I took for granted the absolute blessing it has been to be a stay-at-home mom. I felt exhausted, frustrated, short tempered and my patience was long gone. Once I started to incorporate more Jesus in my life, read the Bible more consistently and pray about everything, I finally started to have a mindset shift that allowed me to thoroughly enjoy the greatest privilege I have had. Each family is unique, and the decision to become a stay-at-home mom is a personal choice that depends on individual circumstances, values, and priorities.

Becoming a stay-at-home mom is a significant decision that requires careful consideration and planning. Many couples believe that it is not financially possible or that it might harm your future career if/when you decide to return to the workforce. Not to mention, the transition from a working mom to a full-time caregiver can be challenging, albeit a rewarding experience. Here are some steps to take in order to become a stay-at-home mom.

Evaluate your finances

Before you decide to stay at home, you need to evaluate your finances. Determine how much money you need to maintain your current lifestyle and compare it to your partner's income. Can you afford to live on one income? Be sure to factor in expenses such as housing, food, healthcare, and childcare. If you see that you cannot afford to live on one income, what are some expenses you can remove from your monthly output? Are there things you are willing to sacrifice in order to make this work? Do you get your nails done on a regular basis? Maybe this is something you could forego (I have been loving my Olive and June at-home manicure and pedicure set.) What about your hair upkeep? Are there ways you could lighten the bill? Are you eating out on a regular basis? Going through the drive-thru? Just walking into Target can cost you way more than if you were to do a pickup order and avoid walking by that $3 aisle. Get creative and really think how you can cut costs, without taking away any of your necessities. Use this budget spreadsheet to itemize your spending. Audit your habits and reduce your spending if possible (but obviously don’t go without necessities.) Make sure you “make a copy” of the spreadsheet so you can input your personal information.

Communicate with your partner

Discuss your desire to become a stay-at-home mom with your partner. Make sure that they are on board with the decision and that you are both clear on the financial implications. You will need to work together to create a budget and a plan to make the transition work. What would this look like for each of you if/when you make this change? Will you be taking on more household responsibilities while you are at home? Would you expect your significant other to give you some time to yourself once they return home from work? Are you going to alternate who cooks dinner each day or will you be doing it every night? You might have a wonderful idea in your head, but it might look completely different for them. Laying out every single detail, no matter how insignificant it may seem can help alleviate any conflicts or lack of interest in you becoming a stay-at-home mom.

Consider your career

If you are currently working, you will need to decide whether to leave your job or try to work part-time or remotely. If you choose to leave your job, make sure that you are prepared for the potential impact on your career. Consider the long-term consequences of leaving the workforce and how you will explain the gap in your resume if you decide to return to work later on. Maybe you decide to work from home remotely with a company or start your own business with your spare time. If you decide to work from home, when will you be able to work? Is this strictly during nap times? Will background noise be a problem? Can you pick up a side hustle? Can your significant other start a side hustle in addition to their current job? My husband had a few side hustles and I found ways to make money by selling unused household items, babysitting and starting my blog.

Create a routine

Once you have made the decision to stay at home, it's important to establish a routine. This will help you stay organized and manage your time effectively. Create a schedule that includes time for household tasks, childcare, and personal time. Be sure to allow for flexibility and adjust your routine as needed. I wrote this post about overcoming overwhelm as a SAHM, with my daily schedule included. It is incredibly freeing to be on your own time, but having a basic rhythm to your day will help you more than you know. Write out what your ideal day would look like, when naps will take place, snacks, breakfast, lunch, etc. Then loosely plan your day according to that schedule. I say loosely, because well... babies and children don’t know what schedule you have in mind nor will they follow your schedule to a T. Be adaptable, flexible and give yourself grace.

Seek support

Being a stay-at-home mom can be isolating, so it's important to seek support. Join a local mom's group, attend playdates, or connect with other moms online. Having a support system can help you feel less alone and provide you with valuable advice and resources. See if you can find a local stroller exercise group or Bible study to meet up with regularly or see if there is a program like MOPS near you.

Becoming a stay-at-home mom is a personal decision that requires careful consideration. By evaluating your finances, communicating with your partner, considering your career, creating a routine, and seeking support, you can make the transition successfully. Remember that being a stay-at-home mom is a full-time job, and it's important to give yourself grace and take care of yourself while caring for your family. I cannot recommend at the very least trying to see if you could make it work to become a stay-at-home mom. The benefits for you, your child and your entire family are exponential.

Comment below if you have been able to make it work financially or if you need help brainstorming ways to overcome some barriers!